Alita Battle Angel-a half assed oppositelock review

"Highlander-Datsuns are Forever" (jamesbowland) 02/16/2019 at 23:24 • Filed to: Alita

0

17

Caution:

Plot: I WARNED YOU.

So in the year 2563 after Mars attacked earth some techno doctor dude finds a piece of an incredibly advanced cyborg left over from the war and brings it back to life. The Cyborg is a cute teenage girl who starts to realize her origin story during the movie and falls in love with a street kid name Han Solo or something.  

R obot on robot violence: 10/10

Love story -1,000,000

Possibility of a sequel? 75%

Set design of future dystopian city: 10/10 looks like new york city in 1987.

SyFy ideas of the future 10/10

Love story: 1^-89 so yeah the love interest really ruined the move and took away from the plot.

Would I pay money to see it in the theater knowing what I know now? I don’t know, maybe a cheap matinee , but not a $16 evening showing.

Maxima Speed > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 02/16/2019 at 23:46

1

$16 dollars for a movie!?!! Where do you live where that is an acceptable price? At the “expensive” big theater near me we only pay like $13 for movies that are 3D and have just been released.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 02/16/2019 at 23:47

1

I guess there hasn’t been an action girl movie since the last Mad Max. The last one I can remember before that was Sucker Punch (awful movie, but great cinematography). I feel like I must be missing something in this interval?

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Maxima Speed 02/16/2019 at 23:47

1

That’s how much it costs in most major markets, it’s $9 here in 2D and maybe $14 in 3D.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/16/2019 at 23:51

1

Here are a couple I just thought of:

Wonder Woman

The force awakens - Rey

The last jedi - Rey

Ant man and the wasp

MarquetteLa > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/16/2019 at 23:56

3

Highly recommend Atomic Blonde.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Maxima Speed 02/17/2019 at 00:01

2

They're at least that expensive here. I hate it.

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > MarquetteLa 02/17/2019 at 00:03

1

Atomic Blond was great!

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > MarquetteLa 02/17/2019 at 00:04

1

Oh yeah I saw that, loved it.

His Stigness > Maxima Speed 02/17/2019 at 00:15

2

Ha if you think that’s bad I pay $24 for Dolby Cinema in Burbank.

Chariotoflove > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 02/17/2019 at 00:37

1

I’ll  watch the heck out of something like this when it pops up on Netflix.

Maxima Speed > His Stigness 02/17/2019 at 01:44

0

Yikes!

kanadanmajava1 > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 02/17/2019 at 07:01

0

I was thinking about seeing this. But I have been expecting a disappointment since the movie was announced. I’m a big fan of the original manga and I was very sure that you can’t make a very good movie out of it. At least not one that would be following the original (very long ) plot. T he manga had some romance in it but it wasn’t in a very big role .

She did have fairly large eyes in the manga too but so did many other characters. I guess the movie director wanted her to look unique?

imadick > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/17/2019 at 09:05

0

I couldn’t make it half way through Sucker Punch. It was pretty looking though.

GLiddy > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 02/17/2019 at 13:00

2

It looks a bit pedophilic . Alita is pre-pubescent, and the big eyes creep me out. I don’t want to feel conflicted. Stephanie from Lazytown wasn’t good for me either. Adult men shouldn’t watch these things alone. People talk.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > GLiddy 02/17/2019 at 13:08

0

I watched this with my 13 YO son.  T here were solo single adult men in the theater.

GLiddy > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 02/17/2019 at 16:30

1

I suspect the similarity between the names “Alita” and Nabokov’s titular character “Lolita” are not coincidental.

Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness > His Stigness 02/21/2019 at 07:07

0

Sucker!

Sorry.